Would this person add to my life?
Do relationships puzzle you? Do you try to solve them, like a jigsaw that always seems to be missing a few pieces? Do you approach them using goal-oriented business systems, pursuing someone certain that your coaching will make them all they can be? Do you decide on the sort of person who should fill in your life, then try to jam them into it regardless of whether they fit or not. Or do you try to fit into the other person's life and in the process, divorce yourself from you? Do your strategies work? If not, and you'd like to create something different, ask “Would this person add to my life?” Looking for a relationship as something that adds to your life shifts you out of perpetual puzzle. You are no longer the incomplete jigsaw looking for your missing piece, nor are you the missing piece trying to fit into someone else’s puzzle. You and they are complete, both seeking to add to each others lives. Then, as you create the relationship, rather than expecting the person you wake up with to be the same one you went to bed with, ask questions like, “Who is this person going to be today?” and “Who are we and what grand and glorious adventures can we have?” How much fun could relationships be if you started from here?
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