Do all sorts of magical creatures find you during the holidays, especially when you're offering cake and beer? Who are they in your circles? You know the ones, the Snakes who always bite you when you least expect it, because it's instinct? Or the Bring Downers, who simply get a kick out of making your life hell and bringing you down? Does it always shock, horrify, disappoint or upset you when they do it, again and again? What if you gave up expecting everyone to be nice like you, and instead played this game? First, recognise who the Snakes and Bring Downers are in your life. Then you can choose to stay out of their way. And, when they do enter your life, see them and acknowledge them for being great at what they do. How? When they start with the biting and the bringing down – without heat – say “Wow, you're really good at doing that!” When they ask “What's that?” reply “Whatever you're doing now. What is that?” Then listen with “interesting point of view” energy, or walk away.
How much of the holidays do you spend listening to people tell you directly, or indirectly how much rubbish you are? Is that fun? Is it true? If not and you'd like something different, play this game. Whenever you sense someone is looking to criticize, hurt, insult, or provoke you, smile, nod gently and – without heat – reply “interesting point of view”. You are acknowledging their viewpoint and allowing them to enjoy it. You're not agreeing they're right, and you're not being distracted by falling into an angry, emotional reaction, which is often what they really want so they can control you. If you need to pull the heat out of an intense onslaught, say “You're right. I'm wrong” three times. Our addiction to right and wrong, good and bad is one of the strongest we have. These two magic phrases will invite the energy of allowance into your holidays. Just think, if everyone were in allowance, could family feuds, neighboring conflicts, and even war, fall over like dominoes?
Do you have crowds of people overrunning your house during a holiday season? Or just ONE person sucking up all the air or boxing you into a corner? Here's another game to play at these times. The rules are simple. Whenever you start to feel you're folding, stapling, mutilating, or contracting yourself to fit into someone else's holiday box, or you're gasping in the vacuum because they've sucked out all the air in the room, or you feel pinned beneath the weight of your family's baggage and expectations expand outwards. How? Just consciously ask your edges to move out. How far? As far as you need in all directions until you become lighter and spacier. Can anyone hang their baggage on your hooks if you're pure space? Will you have any hooks left? Practice this game. When you master it, you might even find people fall straight through you, flat on their face. And who said slapstick wasn't funny?
There are 100s of questions here. What would you like to ask about? Your relationship? Money? Work? Body? Health? Or life in general? Enter a word below and see what shows up!
Search for the topic of your choice, or start here at the beginning of this blog and work your way through.
We're planning reboot for The Daily Q on 1 April 2020, so sign up here.