What is it? Would I like to change it? If so, how?

To change something, first get clear on exactly what you 'd like to change by asking 'What is it?". Next ask "Would I like to change it?" To change something, you must truly desire it and be willing to do whatever it takes. Then you can ask “If so, how?” Can you change anyone else? No, otherwise your mum would not still be offering you the 1000th piece of cake you don't want. The only thing you can change is you and your points of view. For example, your mum always offers you cake, even though you have told her 1000 times you don't like cake. So what else is possible for you? Visit at a different time (no cake at breakfast?). Call in advance and tell her you hope she has cake when you visit (she might just do the opposite, you never know). Or smile and think your mum's cute when she forgets things, saying “Thanks so much, mum. I'd love a piece of cake.” Just because you take it, doesn't mean you have to eat it. There are magical ways for cake to disappear, along with crankiness and misery.