Have you ever lamented “I don't belong!” or spent your life trying to fit in with others? Has it been easy? Or perhaps you've always known you were different and found it simpler (and more fun) to hang out by yourself, doing your own thing? Did you nevertheless feel a nagging pressure to belong, or believe that you were somehow wrong for not fitting into groups around you? What if there was nothing wrong with not belonging? Did you know the definition of belong includes: to be the property of, to be part of, and be suitable for something? Is that what you're looking for? If you'd like clarity about this, ask “What's the value of wanting to belong?” Perhaps your inability or non-desire to “belong” was simply your awareness that you were already wholly and suitably the property of something: you? So what if rather than “longing to be” something else, you embraced being all of who you are already?
Have you ever tried to change or clear something in your life continually, and to no effect, even though you've asked a thousand questions? For example, has someone ever told you that you weren't good enough and you had to try harder? Or that something about you was not appropriate and you had to overcome it? Perhaps you're too vocal, disruptive, creative, poor, uneducated, powerless, unattractive or other? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if you were buying a lie that someone else wanted you to believe? Is it possible to overcome or change something that doesn't exist? What would you do if someone told you you were a rabbit? Would you become depressed and do whatever it took to try and change you? Or would you say “Um, huh? I'm not a rabbit. I'm me.” So if you'd like to create greater ease around things you assumed were “wrong” about you and you must change (but couldn't), ask “What am I trying to clear, that isn't true?” If something's not true to start with, how can you clear it? Simply notice the lie and it can no longer exist.
How comfortable are you in your skin? Do you feel that you are the complete, natural expression of who you really are? Or do you sometimes feel confused or uncomfortable, not quite yourself ? Whenever you feel a little (or a lot) not like yourself, ask “Who am I trying to be?” There is nothing wrong with acknowledging other people's greatness. But will unconsciously adopting other people's traits create that same greatness in you? Maybe. And you would adopt not-so-great traits for what reason? This question will help you see more clearly the behaviour, thoughts, loves, fights, sacrifices, hopes, dreams or other that are not naturally yours, that you are taking on as yours. Once you can see them, you can let them go if they don't serve you and rediscover yourself. How? Ask, “If I were me, who would I be?”
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