How often have you been told that you must meet deadlines at any cost, or finish everything you start otherwise you're a failure? Do you think if only you didn't procrastinate you'd be happier, more successful and make more money? Just because other people tell you something, does it mean it's true? Only if you agree with them. So what if procrastinating wasn't what you thought it was? What if it was an expression of your awareness that the energy had moved on and something else was required? What if it indicated your boredom and prompted you to find something you truly enjoyed, to make an even greater contribution? Or maybe it was telling you that you lacked the resources to do the job that was actually required? So next time you find you're beating yourself up over not doing things “on time” or telling yourself you're no good because you didn't meet someone else's expectations, ask “What's right about my go slow?” and “What else is possible?”
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Has anyone ever been angry with you to try and distract you from seeing what was true, either so you wouldn't see it, or so they didn't have to look at it? For example, when you questioned someone because you sensed they were lying, did they get angry or indignant, and say things like “I can't believe you are questioning me!” Did that make you angry? Do you get angry when people say things about you that aren't true? One useful thing to know about anger is that it can indicate a lie. So next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself “Is there a lie spoken or unspoken here?” You will know. And if you'd like more clarity, stop and ask the other person “What do you mean by that?” and listen. Asking questions in the face of anger will move you from the auto-response of reaction, to the freedom of action so you can create what you'd really prefer.
Do you like change? Do you get excited when a new gadget is announced? When your company restructures? When your insignificant other moves your holiday plans? When someone you regard highly does something you didn't expect? When your favourite coffee shop closes? Or do you become annoyed, worried, frustrated, even angry? Do you try to make someone right or wrong? Do you start thinking something is “wrong with the world” and “only if things didn't change”? What if nothing were wrong? What if change was needed to create something even greater? So next time you feel uncomfortable about a change, ask “What if change were required?” Then smile and enjoy what shows up next.
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