What have you decided you do not want in your life? People who lie, cheat and steal? Unreliable and flakey people? Bossy and know-it-all people? What else? How much energy do you spend judging people in an effort to keep certain things out of your life? Does it ever work? Is it fun for you? Does it expand your life in ways you'd like? If not, rather than judging and excluding, be in allowance and inclusive. When you exclude, you defne the limits of what you are willing to receive and shut off your access to infnite possibilities. So when you notice you're trying to avoid someone, ask “What am I excluding here, that if I were to be in allowance of would contribute to my life in ways I can't yet imagine?” Will this put you at the mercy people? No. When you are aware and inclusive you will see what's going on and how to choose the bits that work for you. As a result, they may exclude you from their lives, because you're no longer fun for them.
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Do you feel trapped or frozen by any of these: blame, shame, regret, guilt, anger, rage, fury, hate, love, sex, jealousy, doubt, fear, or relationship, business, life, living, death, reality, or addictive, compulsive, obsessive or perverted points of view? Are they real and true? Or are they designed to control and distract you from creating the life you'd really like? Take blame, for example. Is it real? Or is it an interesting point of view? Do you function as though it's real by buying into the idea that “someone must take the blame” and then become distracted by the trauma and drama searching for someone to blame, or deflecting or excusing the blame? What if instead you recognized distractions and saw the infnite possibilities beyond? If you'd like to be free of such control, next time you notice you're being distracted from what you'd actually like to be and do, ask “Is this [insert your item, for example blame] distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?”
What title have you decided you must have to be valued? Girl/ boyfriend? Husband/wife? Mother/father? Community leader? Volunteer? Best friend? Executive? Director? CEO? Master chef? Business person of the year? Dux? No. 1? Sir? Ma'am? Professor? [Insert your ideal title here_____________________]. Will a title make you into the person you'd like to be? Does not having it make you less? Or do you create you, regardless – and often in spite of – your title and other people's opinions? When someone gives you a title do you automatically become that? Have you ever had a boss/friend/spouse who wasn't? Did their titles automatically make them what you desired? And what if by accepting a title you limited yourself to what other people decided was right/wrong for that role, which may not work for you? What if even without any title, you are totally awesome? So ask “What title am I limiting myself to, that if I didn't would allow me to see and create the life I truly desire?”
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