Is something in your life stuck and you can't seem to shift it? For you to be unable to change something, you have to have decided or concluded something about it. For example, what have you decided in your life is perfect or the answer? A relationship? A job? A business? When you can see your decisions – and are willing to let them go – all change becomes possible. So when you're stuck, ask “What decisions, conclusions and answers have I made about this?” This does not mean you have to end the relationship, or job, or business. You can transform it into something else, something better than you could have ever imagined. How? Ask another question.
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Are you addicted to organisation, to designing the perfect system, to keeping the perfect house? Some people are. And they are REALLY good at it. Trouble is, they also get irritated – downright cranky – when the ducks don't line up and the kittens don't herd. If you know that feeling and you'd like to be free from it's control, then consider nature. The most highly functional and efficient systems exist in apparent chaos. Do flowers grow (naturally) in neat rows? No. And yet the bees find them, pollinate them, and contribute elegantly to sustaining life on the planet. What if you were like a bee? What if, regardless of the apparent chaos, you could find the flowers, and contribute awesomely to your life? So ask “What if I created my life from chaos?” This is not to suggest you create random, artificial chaos. Simply that even if things appear messy, you need not be at their mercy if you can see where to collect the pollen.
Do you find yourself behaving in way that is, well, not quite you? Like getting really cranky, crying like a madwoman, throwing a foor-fist-banging tantrum, picking a fight, or otherwise doing something you know is crazy and not you, but you can't seem to help it? What if it wasn't you? To find out, ask “Who am I being now?” We pick up all sorts of stuff from those around us, from our parents, teachers, friends and pretty much everyone. This question reminds you that maybe it really isn't you. Then you can ask “If I were me, who would I be?” If you're a parent, try it with your kids. Are they mad as hell or being drama queens? Ask them gently without heat “Who are you being now?” (Don't be surprised if they reply “YOU!!”) Then ask “If you were you, who would you be?” and listen. At the very least it might crinkle their universe and stop the drama spiral for a second or two. At best, their whole life might change.
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