How do you normally approach the holidays? Do prepare yourself to grin and bear all the things you think you're supposed to do? Do you go to places you'd rather not, or stay longer than you enjoy, because someone in your family has decided it's required? If you'd like to enjoy the holidays more, next time play a game of Nurture You Monopoly. The rules are: whatever arrangements your family has made, pre-plan a time and place to do something you really enjoy. Would that be a massage, pedicure, coffee with friends, a walk up the mountains or along the beach? Or something else? Then devise an exit. Ask a friend to call you with an excuse. Pre-arrange a taxi to come and pick you up. When the phone call or taxi arrives, say: “Thank you so much for today! I just have to pop out now to help my friend. I'll be back to enjoy it even more a bit later!” Then smile, LEAVE and nurture you.
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Are you about to enter a holiday season? How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family or in-laws? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're “not good enough”? Or do you have the plain mean ones who know you're an easy mark? If you dread family gatherings because you know someone is out to get you, trying to control you, or just not fun to hang out with, try these games and create a difference. Are your get togethers full of fighting? How many fights are really just individuals crying out for more attention? So give the ones giving you the hardest time, the attention they seek. With gentleness and allowance say “I'm so grateful that you are in my life. You are such a gift.” Then ask them questions and listen. No one will have paid them so much genuine attention in a long time. Being totally open, vulnerable and present with them will knock them over like a house of cards.
Who in your life right now are you doing your best to help, support, love, care for, work hard for, or contribute to? Do you get the results you know are possible? Or are you saddened, disheartened, disappointed, puzzled, upset, frustrated, annoyed, or even angered by how little impact you seem to be having? Are they treating you like rubbish? Who do you make wrong? Them, or you? Do you re-double your efforts and go out of your way to do whatever you think is required, to no effect? Do you feel like rubbish? If you'd like to create a different possibility, ask “Have I made this person greater than me?” Then acknowledge how great YOU are, regardless of what others would have you believe. What if no one were greater? What if everyone were just different (including that some simply won't choose change, no matter how great you can see it could be)? Would you be willing to be the greatest you are first? And then invite others to play?
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