Have you ever been overwhelmingly excited about something or someone? How did your body respond? Did your heart and mind race? Did you lie awake all night dreaming of all the future possibilities? Despite your lack of sleep, did you function on an adrenaline overload? Did your body enjoy it? What exactly did it contribute to the object of excitement? Did it expand you and your project with ease and elegance, joy and reward? Was it the invitation to others you expected? And did it help you get anything done? Or did your excitement distract you, keep you frozen in hopes and dreams? Did you find people did not seem to catch the fire of your excitement the way you expected? If excitement has not worked the way you thought it would, ask “What contribution is this excitement?” If you notice it's not what you thought it was, ask “Who does this belong to?” and What else is possible?” What if simply being you were the greatest contribution, beyond anything you can imagine?
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Has anyone ever been angry with you to try and distract you from seeing what was true, either so you wouldn't see it, or so they didn't have to look at it? For example, when you questioned someone because you sensed they were lying, did they get angry or indignant, and say things like “I can't believe you are questioning me!” Did that make you angry? Do you get angry when people say things about you that aren't true? One useful thing to know about anger is that it can indicate a lie. So next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself “Is there a lie spoken or unspoken here?” You will know. And if you'd like more clarity, stop and ask the other person “What do you mean by that?” and listen. Asking questions in the face of anger will move you from the auto-response of reaction, to the freedom of action so you can create what you'd really prefer.
Do you encounter many angry people in your life? When people do anger, are they ever really interested in hearing your point of view? Or is their main focus getting a reaction out of you? Are they interested in you being free to say and do what you prefer? Or are they looking to control you? You know exact the moment your buttons are pushed and you become trapped in emotional reaction. Would you like to be free of that auto-response? If so, next time someone does anger at you, be Cute Not Bright. Stop and ask them “OK, what do you mean by that?” and listen. Keep asking the same question and listen until the anger has gone. Anger is a distractor people will use against you to see how you'll react, so they can find a way to gain control over you. Acknowledging the other person like this will take you out of reaction and into action to create the life you'd like.
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