What do you do when things don't ft into the form and structure you've decided your life must have? When things vary or change? Do you say “Oh that's interesting. It's different! It's something I never thought about! I wonder how much fun we can have?” Or do you react with upset and say “That's strange/crazy/stupid. If they only did it my way their life would be better! OMG how can I put up with this?” How much stress or unhappiness do you have because you've decided things have to be a particular way? If you'd like less stress and more happiness in your life, start here:
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Are you confused about something? What subject to study, which university or company to apply for, whether to ask someone out, what to spend your money on, how much to worry about your kids education? Add your own current personal confusion here: _____________________. Confusion is usually a sign that you're missing information. Put another way, when you have all the information you require, are you confused? No. So next time you think you're confused, rather than stressing and spiraling into a worried frenzy about what to do, ask yourself “What information do I need? Who do I need to speak to?” Keep asking these questions until you replace confusion with clarity. This is not about getting your choices right or perfect. Choice creates awareness, so each time you make a choice you'll see more possibilities. This question simply helps you avoid being distracted by the stress of confusion that need not exist.
How often do you feel trapped in a no-choice universe. When did your parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, friends, children and everyone sell you the idea that you have no choice but to do what they tell you? What is that for you? To study a subject you hate, take a job you're not interested in, break off a great relationship, marry a person you don't really like, work late every night and weekend? Guess what? You always have a choice. Infnite choices in fact. This is a free will universe. So remind yourself. Next time you feel trapped ask “What choices do I have?” Then notice whatever possibility feels lightest and ask more questions about what it would take for you to create that as your life. Of course, it may end up being exactly what other people told you to choose in the frst place. But you'll feel differently about it because it was your choice.
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