Are you in a relationship? How's it going? Not so well? Are you suffering things you'd rather not because you think it will help the relationship work out the way you'd like it to? Will that help? Maybe. Maybe not. Is it fun to suffer? Or would you rather enjoy life with other fun people? Are you committed to making the relationship work no matter what, because YOU CAN DO IT and to do otherwise would be to fail? Have you decided he/she is The One and your rose-coloured glasses don't allow you to see things as they really are? If you'd like to see you, the other person, and your relationship more clearly ask “What am I pretending not to know?” You already know what will be the greatest contribution to your life, you just pretend you don't.
What fixed points of view do you have about who and what you have to be/do/have in life? For example, I have to get married because my mother expects it. I can't take a year off school to travel because my father wouldn't like it. I have to get into that company because otherwise I'll be a failure. I can't be nice because the tough kids will make fun of me. I have to cook dinner every night otherwise I'll be a bad mother. Do you spend all your energy, time and money on this hamster wheel? Is it fun? Does it create the happiness you'd like? If not, ask “What could be possible if I changed my point of view?” What if all your “I have to”s and “I can't”s were just points of view that you could change? What point of view would you start with?
How many people do you have in life you want to kill, or at least complain endlessly about? One or two? Or too many to count? When you think about these people do you smile or frown? And how do you feel when you see other people frowning? Do you feel happy and energetic, or not so much? What about when people smile at you, how do you feel? Do you feel like the children's song: “when someone smiles at me, I feel like smiling too, when I see someone who is happy, I feel happy too”? If you'd like to find out, ask “Who can I smile at today?” and start with one person. Then try another, until you smile at everyone. Yes, some of them may think you're insane. Who cares what they think if you're happier?
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