Does someone get angry with you regularly? How do you react? Do you start thinking you haven't been good enough? That you're wrong? Do you try to fold, staple and mutilate yourself to appease them? Or perhaps you respond with your own anger? Does any of this ever work for you? Are you at ease with anger? If not, ask "What about this anger am I grateful for?" There is always something. For example, being aware of the anger, you can choose to keep it in your life or not. If you'd like them in your life you can say "This anger doesn't work for me. Does it work for you? Would you like to change it?" If they say yes, great, there is an invitation for change. If no, then at least you know and you get to choose for you. This question will help you step out of the distraction of reacting to anger, which will only serve to keep you from creating the life you'd really like.
Thanks to M for this one. There's always something right about everything :)
Do you know any mean people? They exist, even if you don't want to see them. When you do see someone who is mean, do you immediately list all the reasons for why? Bad childhood, bad break-up, bad workplace. What other justifications do you find? Are these reasons and justifications true? What about people who have been horribly abused as kids, who as adults are extraordinarily caring people? And those who had comparatively nice childhoods, who as adults are just plain mean? Know any people like this? What if being mean, or kind, was just a choice available to anyone to choose, at any time? So if you'd like to free yourself from the effect of meanness, and contribute more kindness to the world, ask "What if being mean was just a choice?" What would you choose today? What if kindness changed the world? What if YOUR kindness changed the world?
Thanks to Dr Dain Heer for this one. Like to hear him talk about it? A video just for you here http://youtu.be/oMhJvDVcnok
Do you find most people in your life love to tell you what to do? Perhaps you've started a new business, project, or hobby, and suddenly friends, family and strangers start telling you what you're doing wrong and how you should be doing it? Had you expected at least friends and family to be supportive and offer kind words? Have you been caught in a whirl of accommodating armchair critics only to become exhausted or confused? Or do you respond by rejecting everything, saying to yourself that their ideas are off target, won't work, or are too costly? Is this fun for you? If not, ask "What if I could receive everything with ease?" and smile and nod every time someone gifts you their views. Would you be willing to step out of the autopilot "do" or "do not" and acknowledged with gratitude every unsolicited point of view as gifts that could contribute to your awareness? Then you can choose to act, or not, from your expanded awareness. Repeat ad infinitum.
Do relationships puzzle you? Do you try to solve them, like a jigsaw that always seems to be missing a few pieces? Do you approach them using goal-oriented business systems, pursuing someone certain that your coaching will make them all they can be? Do you decide on the sort of person who should fill in your life, then try to jam them into it regardless of whether they fit or not. Or do you try to fit into the other person's life and in the process, divorce yourself from you? Do your strategies work? If not, and you'd like to create something different, ask “Would this person add to my life?” Looking for a relationship as something that adds to your life shifts you out of perpetual puzzle. You are no longer the incomplete jigsaw looking for your missing piece, nor are you the missing piece trying to fit into someone else’s puzzle. You and they are complete, both seeking to add to each others lives. Then, as you create the relationship, rather than expecting the person you wake up with to be the same one you went to bed with, ask questions like, “Who is this person going to be today?” and “Who are we and what grand and glorious adventures can we have?” How much fun could relationships be if you started from here?
Like to read more on this? Read the full article here.
Have you been shopping recently? Was it fun? Or did you get upset because you lost something, like a credit card or wallet? Were you overcharged? Did you miss out on a car park or a bargain? Did your children have a meltdown? Did you leave feeling stressed and penniless? If your experience was less than joyful, and you'd like to change your shopping (or any other) experience, ask “Is this mine? Or someone else's?”Thoughts, feelings and emotions are transmitted invisibly and soundlessly like WiFi through everyone nearby. So if you're in the middle of a shopping centre filled with overworked, underpaid, stressed, unhappy people on a budget trying to buy a “festive season,” be aware that you may pick up all their thoughts, feelings and emotions – even if you're financially comfortable and enjoy your work – and walk out feeling unhappy and overspent. Even if something does “go wrong” and you lose something, ask “What's right about this that I'm not getting?” and “How does it get any better?” smile and keep moving.
Do you consider change to be hard? You know you're not entirely (or at all) satisfied with your work, business, relationships, health, body or life in general, and you have an idea about what you'd prefer, and yet you can't seem to make it happen? Do you hear yourself saying “I'd like to do this, but I can't because...”? How many reasons and justifications do you have as to why your current situation, although not ideal, is easier to have than making waves and changing anything? What if change wasn't the hard part? If you'd like to find out what might open a door to greater possibilities, ask “Am I willing to acknowledge what I've chosen?” What if the hard part was acknowledging that everything you have created as your life until now had been your choice? There is no need to make it significant. Simply notice it and acknowledge that you are a magnificent creator. Now what do you choose to create? The same, or different?
Do you strive for completion? Do you value having goals and focus your energy on achieving those? How do you feel when either you reach, or don't reach your goal? Does procrastination worry you along the way? Is the process fun? If striving for completion does not give you the sense of fulfillment and satisfaction you were hoping for, and procrastination distracts you, ask “Having done this, what can I create from here?” What if nothing was ever a completion? What if you considered your work, business and your life in general an ongoing creation, of which you were fully present and created elegantly and joyfully? Elegance is the greatest result with the least effort. You create elegance when you are fully present and choose consciously and continuously. And procrastination? This often occurs when you consider something a necessity. What if it were all just choice?
Today is the official opening of my latest project - Polit Bar - so this is a GREAT question for
How often can you see everything in someone else's universe? You know exactly what they could do different, that if they chose it would create change beyond their imagination? How many times have you tried to tell, show, coax, persuade, debate, argue, or fight to share your awareness, trying to help them to see it, and then choose it? How often has that worked? Always, sometimes, or almost never? If you'd like an easier approach with more dynamic results, ask yourself “What question could I ask here that would lead to the awareness that will create the greatest change?” Then putting aside your hopes and dreams about the change you know is possible, ask the question that comes to mind. It might appear to have nothing to do with the “issue.” It might be as seemingly unrelated as “Are you looking to change something? If so, just ask and I'll do what I can to help.” Then smile and wait until they ask you. Are you willing to wait?
Do you spend a lot of your time feeling wrong? Do friends, family, and even passing strangers seem compelled to tell you that you haven't got it quite (or a lot) right, and if you just did it their way your life would be a whole lot better? Do you agree with, or fight against them? Is that fun and does it make you smile? If not and you'd prefer more joy, ask “Am I willing to step into my life?” What if you weren't trapped in the narrow band of other people's possibilities? What's the narrow band? Where you either agree and align and do what they tell you, or resist and react and do the opposite. When you expand beyond this band of polarity and create your life from what you know works for you, you have infinite possibilities. When people tell you you're wrong, smile and say “You're right. Thank you so much! You really have helped me to step into my life.” Then change the subject or walk away, “returning to sender” any lingering feeling of wrongness, and do what you know works for you.
Do you know what makes you happy? How many conclusions do you have about brings you happiness? One or two? Or a few hundred? What are they? For example, are you working toward something? An exam or job interview you'd like to pass? A girl or boy you'd like to date, marry or have kids with? A computer, TV, car or house you'd like to buy? A project, cause, or charity you're fighting for? Or some sort of mental, emotional or physical relief you're seeking? Do you consider that when you achieve that target you'll be happy? Not sure? If you'd like clarity, ask “Does this really create happiness for me?” Then notice how you feel. Light or heavy? What is true for you feels light. So if you sense heaviness, you may have bought the idea from someone else (your family?) their idea of happiness, which might not suit you. There's nothing wrong with seeking more in life and being joyful with the results. What if you could be joyful every day of the process too? What might your results look like then?
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