Does someone get angry with you regularly? How do you react? Do you start thinking you haven't been good enough? That you're wrong? Do you try to fold, staple and mutilate yourself to appease them? Or perhaps you respond with your own anger? Does any of this ever work for you? Are you at ease with anger? If not, ask "What about this anger am I grateful for?" There is always something. For example, being aware of the anger, you can choose to keep it in your life or not. If you'd like them in your life you can say "This anger doesn't work for me. Does it work for you? Would you like to change it?" If they say yes, great, there is an invitation for change. If no, then at least you know and you get to choose for you. This question will help you step out of the distraction of reacting to anger, which will only serve to keep you from creating the life you'd really like.
Thanks to M for this one. There's always something right about everything :)
Are you smart? Are you aware of everything going on around you in all time, space and dimensions, seeing connections, pasts and futures that no one else is aware of? And yet do you find that other people always seem to be talking down to you, explaining and pontificating on things to you as if you had no idea? How do you react? Do you nod, smile and think "interesting"? Or do you get annoyed, worked up, and drawn into a meaningless circular argument? Do the other people ever concede you known what you're talking about? If not and you'd like greater ease in these situations ask "What if I didn't need to prove I was smart"? Does trying to prove you're smart mean that you've actually decided you're not? Is that true? Or did you buy that point of view from someone, sometime? When you try to prove you’re smart, you have to have all the answers. What if your smarts -- your awareness -- was the thing that could point out where the answers end and the questions begin? What else could be possible then?
Have you spent a few moments, hours, days, weeks or even years walking around thinking you were bad, wrong, no-good or hopeless? Were you locked into an endless downward spiral of unhappiness or sense of failure or boredom? Was that fun for you? If not and you'd like to change it, ask "What if I stopped and asked a question?" What question? It doesn't matter. Your simple choice to STOP creates a space for a new possibility to show up. Coupled with a question, any question, the possibilities suddenly become infinite. Are you willing to stop, breathe, question and smell the roses?
I am very sorry if I miss a Daily Q every now and then. I aim to write and publish every day and sometimes life simply gets in the way :)
Do you know any mean people? They exist, even if you don't want to see them. When you do see someone who is mean, do you immediately list all the reasons for why? Bad childhood, bad break-up, bad workplace. What other justifications do you find? Are these reasons and justifications true? What about people who have been horribly abused as kids, who as adults are extraordinarily caring people? And those who had comparatively nice childhoods, who as adults are just plain mean? Know any people like this? What if being mean, or kind, was just a choice available to anyone to choose, at any time? So if you'd like to free yourself from the effect of meanness, and contribute more kindness to the world, ask "What if being mean was just a choice?" What would you choose today? What if kindness changed the world? What if YOUR kindness changed the world?
Thanks to Dr Dain Heer for this one. Like to hear him talk about it? A video just for you here http://youtu.be/oMhJvDVcnok
What in your life is consistently "going wrong"? Have you asked someone to deliver something to you each week after a particular time, but they always turn up three hours early when you're not there? Are your point of sale records and till drawer always slightly out? Are your fuses always blowing? Are staff often turning up late, or not at all? How do you react? By sigh and patching things up to get by? Do you stress and scream? Do do you ignore it? Or are you in a constant state of slight irritation? If you'd like to disappear such "goings wrong"and create greater ease in your business, ask "What about this requires my attention?" And then attend to whatever shows up.
Do you find most people in your life love to tell you what to do? Perhaps you've started a new business, project, or hobby, and suddenly friends, family and strangers start telling you what you're doing wrong and how you should be doing it? Had you expected at least friends and family to be supportive and offer kind words? Have you been caught in a whirl of accommodating armchair critics only to become exhausted or confused? Or do you respond by rejecting everything, saying to yourself that their ideas are off target, won't work, or are too costly? Is this fun for you? If not, ask "What if I could receive everything with ease?" and smile and nod every time someone gifts you their views. Would you be willing to step out of the autopilot "do" or "do not" and acknowledged with gratitude every unsolicited point of view as gifts that could contribute to your awareness? Then you can choose to act, or not, from your expanded awareness. Repeat ad infinitum.
What in your life right now has slapped you on the face? Is something going on that has apparently come out of no where and bitten you on the bum? Like your bank transferring thousands of your money to someone you didn't authorise them to, and then refusing to refund your money? Or something even more inconvenient? Whatever that is for you, when you find you're trapped in an "OMG this is terrible" cycle of stress and worry ask "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" And keep asking it over and over, even if you don't believe it or feel it. What if there was ALWAYS something right about a "bad" situation? Like finding a bank that was even cheaper and offered much better service? How does it get any better?
Do relationships puzzle you? Do you try to solve them, like a jigsaw that always seems to be missing a few pieces? Do you approach them using goal-oriented business systems, pursuing someone certain that your coaching will make them all they can be? Do you decide on the sort of person who should fill in your life, then try to jam them into it regardless of whether they fit or not. Or do you try to fit into the other person's life and in the process, divorce yourself from you? Do your strategies work? If not, and you'd like to create something different, ask “Would this person add to my life?” Looking for a relationship as something that adds to your life shifts you out of perpetual puzzle. You are no longer the incomplete jigsaw looking for your missing piece, nor are you the missing piece trying to fit into someone else’s puzzle. You and they are complete, both seeking to add to each others lives. Then, as you create the relationship, rather than expecting the person you wake up with to be the same one you went to bed with, ask questions like, “Who is this person going to be today?” and “Who are we and what grand and glorious adventures can we have?” How much fun could relationships be if you started from here?
Like to read more on this? Read the full article here.
Have you lived most or your life feeling “wrong”? No matter what you do, think or say, do you judge and censure yourself constantly, trying to figure out whether it is right or wrong? Are you stuck in a loop of defending against and fighting for things, constructing barriers with others to prove something is right or wrong? Do you tie yourself up in knots making yourself wrong for everything? If you'd like to step out of this loop, start here. First remind yourself that right and wrong are “interesting points of view” and ask yourself “who do these points of view come from?” about any views you seems stuck on. When others come to you seeking a fight, say “yes, you are right....” and when you notice your barriers coming up ask “What if being wrong was right?” What change could you create by acknowledging the diversity of points of view? What if there were freedom in being wrong?
Thanks to Susanna Mittermaier for this great question.
Do you ever find yourself surrounded by meanness? Do you even have only ONE mean person in your life tearing you down? Do you find it easy to stand up for yourself? How willing are you to speak out about what's true for you? Are you always being “nice”? If you'd like to change the meanness in your world, or find greater ease in speaking out about what you believe in, ask “What's the value of being nice?” When did you buy the idea that “being nice” was desirable above all else, even if it meant suppressing you? What if silence was simply a choice you made when you weren't willing to stand up with courage for what you knew to be true for you? What if you made another choice? Where have you been unwilling to speak up for what you know? And for who you are? And what is valuable to you? Where do you allow a few voices to ruin things for everyone? What if you recognised that YOUR voice has value and credence and potency to create change beyond anything you've ever imagined possible?
If you like this question, then you'll LOVE Blossom Benedict and her Right Voice for You classes. Thank you Blossom for this awesome question.
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