How often do you get angry? What makes you angry? How quickly does your anger come to the surface? Do you think it's wrong? Does the anger envelope you in layers you can't escape? Does it distract you from creating the life you'd truly like? Rather than considering anger in itself wrong, what if you asked a question to get clear on what it truly was? For example, Heated Anger can indicate where you are in judgement, rather than interesting point of view. Explosive Anger can show you where you've been suppressing yourself. Or Rising Anger may indicate someone is lying to you. All useful to know. So next time, ask “What is this anger?” Then notice what shows up and acknowledge it. In doing so, you'll be free to choose for you, rather than be in response. Don't forget, you can always play with Potent Anger to get your point across.
Do you feel trapped or frozen by any of these: blame, shame, regret, guilt, anger, rage, fury, hate, love, sex, jealousy, doubt, fear, or relationship, business, life, living, death, reality, or addictive, compulsive, obsessive or perverted points of view? Are they real and true? Or are they designed to control and distract you from creating the life you'd really like? Take blame, for example. Is it real? Or is it an interesting point of view? Do you function as though it's real by buying into the idea that “someone must take the blame” and then become distracted by the trauma and drama searching for someone to blame, or deflecting or excusing the blame? What if instead you recognized distractions and saw the infnite possibilities beyond? If you'd like to be free of such control, next time you notice you're being distracted from what you'd actually like to be and do, ask “Is this [insert your item, for example blame] distracting me from creating the life I'd truly like?”
If you have something in your life you've been trying to change continually to no effect, ask "What do I love about this?" How willing are you to change or let go of things you love? Not much? Not at all? Are you ever distracted by a fear that you will never have it again (for example, a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all)? When something is not working for you, frst get clear on what parts of it you love. Then you can ask other questions like "What would it take for me to find something else that would be an even greater contribution to my life?" and "What would it take for the parts of this that are not working for me, to change into something greater than I could imagine?" When you become clear on what you love about something, and are willing to let it go, or demand that it change, you will no longer be weighed down by it. Instead, you will have the freedom to choose it, or not choose it.
How much do you put off doing? How much do you not do all because you think you won't succeed? How often do you end up doing something less than you'd like as a result? What do hesitation and fear contribute to your life? Is there any value in having them? Or are they simply distractors that keep you from creating what you'd truly like? If you'd like to be free from their control to create the relationships, work, business and life you'd really like, ask “What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?” This will clear such distractors so you see what you'd really like to choose. Are you willing to have that much freedom?
Do you worry about what might go wrong? Is fear keeping you trapped? Are you anxious for no apparent reason? Do you feel frozen by these emotions and incapable of happiness? What's the value of operating from worry, anxiety and fear? What if happiness were just a choice? If you'd like a change, ask “What if I lived my life from the excitement of what could go right, rather than the fear of what could go wrong?” Perhaps you've misidentified excitement as fear? Or maybe you're distracted by implants that are not really yours? In both cases, acknowledge it and demand change. And if you enjoy the news, talkback radio, many other media programs and most people's conversations, consider repeating “interesting point of view” for everything you see, hear or read. How much of your worry, fear, and anxiety is you being a highly attuned WiFi device, receiving all the thoughts, feelings and emotions of everyone around you and buying them as yours? Would you “Return to sender with consciousness?”
Are you a worrier? What do you worry about? Failing exams, business, relationships, children, money. Something else? Or do you spend most of the time trying to figure out (worry about) what other people want from you and how to deliver it? For example, passing the exam, then getting the right job/ spouse/ children/ house/ car/ TV/ holiday/ other? What's the value of worry? Does it contribute anything? Or does it keep you trapped in reaction and distract you from taking action? Is it an excuse for no-action? Is it relevant?If you'd like to be free to take action and create the life you'd prefer, rather than being distracted by worry into reaction/no-action, ask “What if worry wasn't relevant?” How much of your worry stems from trying to fit in or to meet other people's expectations? Do you think it's caring? How aware of/interested in you are other people? A lot, a little, or not at all? Would you like to have more fun? Then stop worrying about what other people want and start creating your life for YOU. If your life was an adventure of constant creation, would worry exist?
Have you ever been overwhelmingly excited about something or someone? How did your body respond? Did your heart and mind race? Did you lie awake all night dreaming of all the future possibilities? Despite your lack of sleep, did you function on an adrenaline overload? Did your body enjoy it? What exactly did it contribute to the object of excitement? Did it expand you and your project with ease and elegance, joy and reward? Was it the invitation to others you expected? And did it help you get anything done? Or did your excitement distract you, keep you frozen in hopes and dreams? Did you find people did not seem to catch the fire of your excitement the way you expected? If excitement has not worked the way you thought it would, ask “What contribution is this excitement?” If you notice it's not what you thought it was, ask “Who does this belong to?” and What else is possible?” What if simply being you were the greatest contribution, beyond anything you can imagine?
Has anyone ever been angry with you to try and distract you from seeing what was true, either so you wouldn't see it, or so they didn't have to look at it? For example, when you questioned someone because you sensed they were lying, did they get angry or indignant, and say things like “I can't believe you are questioning me!” Did that make you angry? Do you get angry when people say things about you that aren't true? One useful thing to know about anger is that it can indicate a lie. So next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself “Is there a lie spoken or unspoken here?” You will know. And if you'd like more clarity, stop and ask the other person “What do you mean by that?” and listen. Asking questions in the face of anger will move you from the auto-response of reaction, to the freedom of action so you can create what you'd really prefer.
Do you encounter many angry people in your life? When people do anger, are they ever really interested in hearing your point of view? Or is their main focus getting a reaction out of you? Are they interested in you being free to say and do what you prefer? Or are they looking to control you? You know exact the moment your buttons are pushed and you become trapped in emotional reaction. Would you like to be free of that auto-response? If so, next time someone does anger at you, be Cute Not Bright. Stop and ask them “OK, what do you mean by that?” and listen. Keep asking the same question and listen until the anger has gone. Anger is a distractor people will use against you to see how you'll react, so they can find a way to gain control over you. Acknowledging the other person like this will take you out of reaction and into action to create the life you'd like.
What makes you angry? Injustice? War? Poverty? Your partner coming home late from work every night? Your boss or co-workers being stupid and lazy? What else? I'm guessing you'd like to change these things for the better, and you become angry out of frustration, because you think you're supposed to be angry, or from the belief that anger will somehow create the changes you'd like? Will it? Probably not. Two things that anger will create are: stress and toxicity in your body, and; resistance and reaction in other people. Will either of these things help you to make the changes you'd like? No. They might even make it harder. If you'd like to be free from anger's control, to create what you'd really like, ask “What will anger contribute here?” and then “What else is possible to create the changes I'd like to see?” What if you could see anger for what it was: a distraction?
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