Do you consider change to be hard? You know you're not entirely (or at all) satisfied with your work, business, relationships, health, body or life in general, and you have an idea about what you'd prefer, and yet you can't seem to make it happen? Do you hear yourself saying “I'd like to do this, but I can't because...”? How many reasons and justifications do you have as to why your current situation, although not ideal, is easier to have than making waves and changing anything? What if change wasn't the hard part? If you'd like to find out what might open a door to greater possibilities, ask “Am I willing to acknowledge what I've chosen?” What if the hard part was acknowledging that everything you have created as your life until now had been your choice? There is no need to make it significant. Simply notice it and acknowledge that you are a magnificent creator. Now what do you choose to create? The same, or different?
How often can you see everything in someone else's universe? You know exactly what they could do different, that if they chose it would create change beyond their imagination? How many times have you tried to tell, show, coax, persuade, debate, argue, or fight to share your awareness, trying to help them to see it, and then choose it? How often has that worked? Always, sometimes, or almost never? If you'd like an easier approach with more dynamic results, ask yourself “What question could I ask here that would lead to the awareness that will create the greatest change?” Then putting aside your hopes and dreams about the change you know is possible, ask the question that comes to mind. It might appear to have nothing to do with the “issue.” It might be as seemingly unrelated as “Are you looking to change something? If so, just ask and I'll do what I can to help.” Then smile and wait until they ask you. Are you willing to wait?
Do you like routine? Is that what you strive to achieve? Something comfortable, known, and secure? How often do you say “Once I get a system, everything will be better”? There's nothing wrong with comfortable, known and routine, when everything in your life is even better than you could imagine. When something is not working the way you'd like, will “comfortable, known or routine” create the changes you desire? Or will they set in concrete what's not working? If you're looking for dynamic change, ask “What could I be or do different today that would help create the life, living and reality I'd really like?” Then notice what comes to mind and be or do that. “Different” is not the same as “differently.” Differently is doing the same thing in different ways. Different is outside anything you have ever considered. What have you not yet imagined that, if you chose it, would contribute to your life? Don't know? Just ask.
What do you have to do today, that you'd really rather not? Clean the house? Do the food shopping? Visit an unpleasant relative? Wash the car? Attend the weekly staff meeting? Write an essay? Sit an exam? Perform in public? Go to the dentist? Give your family news you know they'll hate. What makes you go “ugh, I'd rather not” but you know you're going to do it anyway. If you'd like to create a more ease for yourself, ask “How can I enjoy the heck out of it?” Your point of view reality creates your reality. So if your point of view is “I don't enjoy this” then you are correct. You don't and won't. There is no possibility it could turn out to be fun after all. And if your point of view is “What would it take for this to turn out more fun than I could ever imagine?” you create an invitation for that to occur. To start, carry with you one thing that makes you laugh. A game. A joke. A book. An app. A photo. A dance in your step. After a while you might find you won't need it. Happiness is just a choice. What do you choose?
Are you a caring person? Can you always see exactly what someone could be doing differently to create an easier and happier life? And do you consider that you're willing to do whatever it takes to help them get there? How often do you see the results you'd know are possible? Usually, sometimes or almost never? And how easy and joyful is the process for you? If you'd like to create change for you, ask “Am I caring? Or care-taking?” Care-taking is doing whatever the other person tells you to do because it makes them feel better, and includes listening to stories, hand-holding, and crying in sympathy. Caring is empowering someone to create change, whatever that looks like, and includes doing nothing and saying “no.” What empowers? Questions, choice, awareness and contributing only when asked and when you know change is possible. What if caring was not the good deeds auto-pilot system you thought it was? What if it was simply the willingness to be aware of and in allowance of other people's choices?
When people ask you for something, how quickly do you respond? Immediately? As soon as you can? Are you faster when they're clear on what they want and help you out? When you ask for something, what do you expect? Do you enjoy and contribute to the creation process? Or do you get impatient when you don't see results immediately and give up on the whole thing? One of the truths of the universe is “ask and you shall receive.” Does it say “immediately, while you kick back”? Does it say “ask for something vague and hope to receive what you secretly desire?” No. So if you'd like to take advantage of this truth, ask “Am I willing to ask and receive, and enjoy contributing to the process?” What if by being clear about your desires, being willing to do whatever it takes to create them, and being patient knowing that it may take time for ducks to line and kittens to herd, you received more than you could possibly imagine?
Are you feeling unsettled about something in your life? A relationship that's not working the way you'd hoped? A business that's not taking off like you expected? A job that's not as rewarding as you thought? Are you disappointed because you've been asking questions and inviting change, but it doesn't seem to be working? Have you decided that you got it wrong? What if there was nothing wrong with your questions and nothing wrong with what's showing up? What if it was just different to what you expected? If you'd like help to see this, ask “What's right about this discomfort?” What if discomfort was you sensing change? Change might not be fast enough for you, and it might not show up like you expected at first...or ever. But if you jump to a conclusion that discomfort is bad and try to stop it, you may just be stopping the process of change you started.
Do you consider you're addicted to something? Has someone told you you are? What is that for you? Food, drugs, alcohol, sex, work, helping people, the wrongness of you, or something else? What does addiction mean to you? That's you're powerless to overcome it without submitting to a higher authority? That you will never overcome it and it will always control you? That it's a physical condition, an allergy and the only solution is a long, slow process and complete abstinence? That you are bad, wrong or a failure for having it What if addiction wasn't what you thought it was? If you've tried everything and would like to find out what else is possible, start by asking yourself “What if addiction wasn't a disease?” What else is possible? That depends on you. How much change would you like? Visit The Bradford System of Right Recovery www.thebradfordsystemofrightrecovery.com for more information about how to choose for you.
How often do you say “because” every day? For example, I can't come tonight because (I have to work late); I have to work late because (I have to finish this project); I need to do this because (it's a job and better than nothing); I'd love to do what I'd really like in life but I can't because (I don't have the money, or enter your own reason here). Are the things you say after “because” real? Or are they simply all your reasons and justifications for not doing something? When you really want something, do you find a way to create it, whatever it takes? If you'd like to create more of what you'd really like in your life, notice every time you say “because” and ask “What's possible that I haven't considered?” You're not wrong when you say because. In fact, you're absolutely right. And if you'd like something more than you currently have, questions will open your eyes and show you what else is possible. Then you can create it, if you choose.
Have you been asking questions but things don't seem to be changing in the way you'd hoped? What sort of questions are you asking? Do they sound like this “What's it going to take for my red BMW sportscar/a young, blond, sexy date to show up?” or “What's it going to take for me to get a job where people recognize my worth?” Are these really questions? Or are they conclusions with question marks attached? In other words, you've decided what you want (red BMW sportscar/young, blond, sexy date) and that without a particular job you have no worth. So if you're not getting the change you'd truly like, check your questions. Ask “Is this a question or a statement with a question mark attached?” Ten ask a real question.
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