Do you know any mean people? They exist, even if you don't want to see them. When you do see someone who is mean, do you immediately list all the reasons for why? Bad childhood, bad break-up, bad workplace. What other justifications do you find? Are these reasons and justifications true? What about people who have been horribly abused as kids, who as adults are extraordinarily caring people? And those who had comparatively nice childhoods, who as adults are just plain mean? Know any people like this? What if being mean, or kind, was just a choice available to anyone to choose, at any time? So if you'd like to free yourself from the effect of meanness, and contribute more kindness to the world, ask "What if being mean was just a choice?" What would you choose today? What if kindness changed the world? What if YOUR kindness changed the world?
Thanks to Dr Dain Heer for this one. Like to hear him talk about it? A video just for you here http://youtu.be/oMhJvDVcnok
What in your life is consistently "going wrong"? Have you asked someone to deliver something to you each week after a particular time, but they always turn up three hours early when you're not there? Are your point of sale records and till drawer always slightly out? Are your fuses always blowing? Are staff often turning up late, or not at all? How do you react? By sigh and patching things up to get by? Do you stress and scream? Do do you ignore it? Or are you in a constant state of slight irritation? If you'd like to disappear such "goings wrong"and create greater ease in your business, ask "What about this requires my attention?" And then attend to whatever shows up.
Do you find most people in your life love to tell you what to do? Perhaps you've started a new business, project, or hobby, and suddenly friends, family and strangers start telling you what you're doing wrong and how you should be doing it? Had you expected at least friends and family to be supportive and offer kind words? Have you been caught in a whirl of accommodating armchair critics only to become exhausted or confused? Or do you respond by rejecting everything, saying to yourself that their ideas are off target, won't work, or are too costly? Is this fun for you? If not, ask "What if I could receive everything with ease?" and smile and nod every time someone gifts you their views. Would you be willing to step out of the autopilot "do" or "do not" and acknowledged with gratitude every unsolicited point of view as gifts that could contribute to your awareness? Then you can choose to act, or not, from your expanded awareness. Repeat ad infinitum.
Are you stressed? Do you feel fractured or fatigued? Would you prefer not to be? Stress can be defined as accentuating or emphasising something. What is that for you? Study? Work? Family? Health? Meaning in life? What else? Do force on yourself to achieve things no matter what? How does that force impact on you and your body? If you are sensing stress, ask "What am I stressing"? You'll know what that is. Rather than accentuating or emphasising the importance of something, what if you stopped, noticed your attention and asked "If stress were not real, what would I create?" What if you enjoyed focusing on and contributing to your target, rather than forcing energy into it? How much stress would you sense stress then?
What in your life right now has slapped you on the face? Is something going on that has apparently come out of no where and bitten you on the bum? Like your bank transferring thousands of your money to someone you didn't authorise them to, and then refusing to refund your money? Or something even more inconvenient? Whatever that is for you, when you find you're trapped in an "OMG this is terrible" cycle of stress and worry ask "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" And keep asking it over and over, even if you don't believe it or feel it. What if there was ALWAYS something right about a "bad" situation? Like finding a bank that was even cheaper and offered much better service? How does it get any better?
Have you found yourself in a controversy where people turned against you? Do you often do things about which people shake their heads in disbelief or 'tut tut' you? How do you respond? Do you make yourself wrong? Do you start defending yourself? Do you enjoy that experience? If not ask "What if I were willing to be controversial?" What if controversy wasn't what you thought it was? What if it wasn't about being against anything? What if controversy was more about being YOU and showing up as YOU even if that didn't appear to fit within the definitions of this reality? What if being "controversial" was simply you choosing to step outside the prescribed limitations? Would you be willing?
Like to know more? Read on here.
Do relationships puzzle you? Do you try to solve them, like a jigsaw that always seems to be missing a few pieces? Do you approach them using goal-oriented business systems, pursuing someone certain that your coaching will make them all they can be? Do you decide on the sort of person who should fill in your life, then try to jam them into it regardless of whether they fit or not. Or do you try to fit into the other person's life and in the process, divorce yourself from you? Do your strategies work? If not, and you'd like to create something different, ask “Would this person add to my life?” Looking for a relationship as something that adds to your life shifts you out of perpetual puzzle. You are no longer the incomplete jigsaw looking for your missing piece, nor are you the missing piece trying to fit into someone else’s puzzle. You and they are complete, both seeking to add to each others lives. Then, as you create the relationship, rather than expecting the person you wake up with to be the same one you went to bed with, ask questions like, “Who is this person going to be today?” and “Who are we and what grand and glorious adventures can we have?” How much fun could relationships be if you started from here?
Like to read more on this? Read the full article here.
Have you lived most or your life feeling “wrong”? No matter what you do, think or say, do you judge and censure yourself constantly, trying to figure out whether it is right or wrong? Are you stuck in a loop of defending against and fighting for things, constructing barriers with others to prove something is right or wrong? Do you tie yourself up in knots making yourself wrong for everything? If you'd like to step out of this loop, start here. First remind yourself that right and wrong are “interesting points of view” and ask yourself “who do these points of view come from?” about any views you seems stuck on. When others come to you seeking a fight, say “yes, you are right....” and when you notice your barriers coming up ask “What if being wrong was right?” What change could you create by acknowledging the diversity of points of view? What if there were freedom in being wrong?
Thanks to Susanna Mittermaier for this great question.
Do you ever find yourself surrounded by meanness? Do you even have only ONE mean person in your life tearing you down? Do you find it easy to stand up for yourself? How willing are you to speak out about what's true for you? Are you always being “nice”? If you'd like to change the meanness in your world, or find greater ease in speaking out about what you believe in, ask “What's the value of being nice?” When did you buy the idea that “being nice” was desirable above all else, even if it meant suppressing you? What if silence was simply a choice you made when you weren't willing to stand up with courage for what you knew to be true for you? What if you made another choice? Where have you been unwilling to speak up for what you know? And for who you are? And what is valuable to you? Where do you allow a few voices to ruin things for everyone? What if you recognised that YOUR voice has value and credence and potency to create change beyond anything you've ever imagined possible?
If you like this question, then you'll LOVE Blossom Benedict and her Right Voice for You classes. Thank you Blossom for this awesome question.
Do you live life to the fullest? Adding more and more, just because it's fun and you can? Do you sometimes feel stressed by what you've taken on, but feel you can't stop because you'd let everybody down? Have you decided that you have to keep going, no matter what? If so and you'd like to create a little more ease for yourself, ask "What if taking a break was ok?" What if by taking a break, you created the space you required for something even better to show up?
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