Do you find you are often disappointed by the way things turn out? Are you ever let down by what people say or do? Can you control how other people run their lives, even in relation to you? And even when you tell them exactly what behaviour and words would make things work like magic between you? No. People will always do exactly what they think works for them and pay no attention to your point of view. The only thing you can create is your own life. So if you'd like to be free of feeling disappointed or let down, ask “What are my expectations in relation to this?” When you are clear of your expectations, you can ask another question, like “If I had no expectations of anything or anyone else, what could I change to create the result I'd truly like?” What if it were as simple as changing your point of view?
How many times a day do you hear yourself saying “I'd like to be/do/have [enter your desire here_______________] BUT I can't/shouldn't BECAUSE [enter your reasons/justifications here__________________]”? Once, 10, 100 a day? Sure, you're clever. You've analyzed the thing from all angles and worked out exactly why you can't/shouldn't. And you're not wrong. When you decide something is not possible, you're absolutely right. It is not possible. Would you like more possibility in life? Would you like to be/do/have all those things you have decided are not possible? If so, ask “What if I stopped being my greatest limitation and started living?” Think of this as a gentle slap on the cheek to remind you all things are possible. Then ask another question (or six hundred) and create your life as you'd really like it.
Do you ever fnd yourself talking about a particular topic to anyone who'll listen? Something you'd like people to notice and agree with you about? It could be about the state of the nation, ofce or people's houses, clothes or bodies. When you do that, notice your energy. Do you talk about it lightly as a question with an “interesting point of view” energy, and then get on with the fun of life? Or do you sense a heaviness, a stickiness which distracts you from being joyful? When you say “interesting” and get on with it you are being aware and in allowance of it. When you get gummed up with its heaviness, you are the effect of it. So if you'd like to have uninterrupted access to joy in life, next time you notice yourself repeatedly thinking, saying or doing something ask “Am I in allowance, or the effect of this?”
How do you shop for clothes? Are you a bargain hunter? Do you rely on a friend or shop assistant to tell you what to buy? Do you consider what other people will approve (the latest for your friends, what your workplace will accept)? Do you ever ask your body? How does your approach work for you? Is your wardrobe full of clothes you absolutely adore? Are your clothes a joy to wear and make you feel yummy all over? Do they make you smile and strut your stuff? Or do you shuffle through life feeling slightly uncomfortable and dressed not quite-right? For fun, next time you go shopping or open your wardrobe ask “Body, what would you like to wear?” Notice what draws your hand or eyes. Touch it. Notice how your skin feels. You'll know when your body wants to wear something. And if nothing draws you, keep on moving till you fnd something that does.
Do you have hideous amounts of money? Or just as much as you need to enjoy life? Perhaps you have none at all? What have you decided money is? Dirty? A necessity? The root of all evil? The Answer to My Life? Are any of these true? Or does money simply have the meaning you give it? How much have you decided is OK to have? How did you decide? And have you've defined the things you can enjoy to fit within this limit? If you would like to change your money flows, start by clearing all the definitions you have about money and ask “What have I decided money is?” What if instead, you considered money a fun, fabulous tool to enable you to do all and more of the things you enjoy in life, including contributing you and your communities? Would that be an invitation for more to come and play?
These are my all time favorite questions. Do they work? Play with them and see what else you can create in your life.
How does it get any better than this?®
Ask for a greater outcome than you could possibly imagine. Are things bad? They can certainly improve. Are things good? They can always get better.
How did I get so lucky?
When the good stuff shows up in your life, this is a great way to express your thanks and to invite more of it your way.
What else is possible?®
When everything seems to be “no” ask “OK, got it. What else is possible?” It's amazing what people will reply when you ask.
What's right about this that I'm not getting?
What if there was nothing wrong with anything? What if there was only another possibility? Would your life be easier and more fun? What's the value of looking for the wrong in things anyway?
What's right about me that I'm not getting?
Just because people don't get you, that doesn't make you wrong. What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if you were just different?
Can I change this? If so, how?
Sometimes things won't change no matter what you do. This question helps you see you can step around, walk away, dig under or fy over the brick wall, rather than keep banging your head against it.
What question could I be asking here?
For when your brain freezes and you can't think of a question.
Is your life full of ease, joy and abundance? Not so much? No surprise given how many people seem to enjoy telling you that life must be hard, no fun, and a knock-down-drag-out fght to the death for scarce and dwindling resources. What if that were not true? If you'd like to fnd out what else is possible add this daily mantra to your wake up routine. “All of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory.”® Saying this will remind you that how you function in life is your choice. And, if you choose, you can function from ease and joy and glory (exuberant expression and abundance) no matter what occurs. Even when “things go wrong” you can experience them with ease and create any change you desire. It’s all of life, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Everything is included and nothing has to be a difficulty. You always have another choice.
Do you feel that you're not enough? You don't ft in? You must strive to become something that your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, TV has told you you should be? Certainly you couldn't possibly be enough just as you are! You need to be something better, right? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being you – just as you are – was exactly right? What if it were more than ok? What if the world actually needs the full range of your talents and abilities that you've been told your whole life were wrong? What would that be like? Do you know? If you'd like to fnd out, ask “If I were me, who would I be?” and “What's right about me I'm not getting?” What if you could be you and change the world?
How do you function in life? From the give and take, mustn't be selfish, must-be-responsible-do-my-duties-and-fulfll-my-obligations standard operating procedure of this reality? Is that fun? And do you really give it your best? Or do you engage half-heartedly and do the least you can get away with? Would you like to change that and enjoy wholeheartedly every interaction you have with the world? Start here. Are you willing to nurture and care for you? Are you willing to let go of everything you think you have to be or do that other people tell you is real and important? Are you willing to see your talents and abilities? Are you willing to gift and receive freely, with no expectation of what it means? Are you willing to be the contribution you are by being you? Then ask “What contribution could I be here?” When you are not confined by must be/ do/ haves, you create space to be and contribute all and more of you.
What have you decided you do not want in your life? People who lie, cheat and steal? Unreliable and flakey people? Bossy and know-it-all people? What else? How much energy do you spend judging people in an effort to keep certain things out of your life? Does it ever work? Is it fun for you? Does it expand your life in ways you'd like? If not, rather than judging and excluding, be in allowance and inclusive. When you exclude, you defne the limits of what you are willing to receive and shut off your access to infnite possibilities. So when you notice you're trying to avoid someone, ask “What am I excluding here, that if I were to be in allowance of would contribute to my life in ways I can't yet imagine?” Will this put you at the mercy people? No. When you are aware and inclusive you will see what's going on and how to choose the bits that work for you. As a result, they may exclude you from their lives, because you're no longer fun for them.
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The Daily Q
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Who am I?
Who am I and what qualifies me to ask questions? Nothing really. You can do it too. Just start. Go on, I dare you!