How often do you ask for what you'd really like? All the time? Sometimes? Almost never? And how much of what you'd really like do you have in your life right now? A lot? A little? Almost nothing? Do you see the connection? Don't ask, don't get. What stops you from asking for what you'd like? Do you think it's selfsh? Tat there's not enough to go around and you should give up your bit (whatever that is) for someone else? That you don't deserve it? Tat you don't need to ask for anything from anyone? Tat people should know what you want? Something else? Are these true? Or are they interesting points of view you bought from someone, sometime? One of the truths of the universe is “Ask and you will receive.” So if you don't have the life you'd truly like right now, are you willing to start by asking for it?
Have you ever been stuck not knowing what to do? You've got two or more great (or not so great) options and you just don't know which one to go with? Are you frozen by the idea that you might make the wrong choice? Have you made this choice the answer to your life? And if you get it wrong people will say “There he goes again, making no-good choices” and your life will be over? Is that true? What if there were no wrong choices? What if no choice was the answer to your life? What if a choice was quite simply that? A choice that is good for 10 seconds. And then you get to choose again. How does that feel? A bit lighter? Can you choose now? So go on, remind yourself a choice is just a choice and you can do it every 10 seconds. Are you willing to tell yourself to “Choose dammit.”
Do you sometimes do things that, well, just don't work out? In fact, you create complete rubbish? When you do this, do you default to how bad, wrong, terrible and awful you are? Yes, you're a failure, just like they always said you were. How does that feel? Does it help you at all? Probably not. So what if instead, you acknowledged that you can be an awesome creator of rubbish. Say “Gee, I'm cute, but not bright!” Then laugh and ask “What's right about this I'm not getting?” and “What else is possible?” If you can create magnificent rubbish, you can undoubtedly create magnificent magnifcence too. You just have to ask and take notice. What's the value of making yourself wrong anyway? It's much more fun to be Cute Not Bright.
How often have you shared your excitement about something with someone, only to have them pour cold water over you saying things like “Really? That was an odd thing to do!” or “You did what? Don't you know it's not going to work because of A, B C...Z?”, and even “OMG how stupid could you be???” How was that? Not much fun? What happened to your excitement and joy? Did you start doubting yourself, thinking that you really must be stupid? And definitely wrong? Just because someone else doesn't get it, doesn't mean you don't. What if you knew a whole lot more than most people? At least you know what's fun for you. How would anyone else know that? So when you are enjoying yourself or have a great new idea, remind yourself you know that you know. And say “Just for me, just for fun, never tell anyone.” And if you do share your joy with someone and they don't get it, smile and thank them for their “interesting point of view.”
What does magic mean to you? Is it something pretend, fake, unreal or impossible? Is it things appearing before your eyes with no logical, scientific explanation? Is it the joy of you receiving things apparently from nowhere? For example, how many times have you thought about someone and then they walked around the corner or phoned you? How often have you imagined you'd like something, and then you saw it in a shop or it arrived on your doorstep? How did you explain that? As a coincidence? Crime fiction fans know there is no such thing as a coincidence. What if the magic of magic lay in your willingness to receive it? If you say it doesn't exist, you are right. If you say it is not logical or scientific, you are right. If you receive it joyfully, you are right. If you'd like more impossible, non-existent stuff to show up in your life, ask “What magic can I create today?” What if magic was simply “Ask and receive?” What would you ask for?
How much of the holidays do you spend listening to people tell you directly, or indirectly how much rubbish you are? Is that fun? Is it true? If not and you'd like something different, play this game. Whenever you sense someone is looking to criticize, hurt, insult, or provoke you, smile, nod gently and – without heat – reply “interesting point of view”. You are acknowledging their viewpoint and allowing them to enjoy it. You're not agreeing they're right, and you're not being distracted by falling into an angry, emotional reaction, which is often what they really want so they can control you. If you need to pull the heat out of an intense onslaught, say “You're right. I'm wrong” three times. Our addiction to right and wrong, good and bad is one of the strongest we have. These two magic phrases will invite the energy of allowance into your holidays. Just think, if everyone were in allowance, could family feuds, neighboring conflicts, and even war, fall over like dominoes?
How do you normally approach the holidays? Do prepare yourself to grin and bear all the things you think you're supposed to do? Do you go to places you'd rather not, or stay longer than you enjoy, because someone in your family has decided it's required? If you'd like to enjoy the holidays more, next time play a game of Nurture You Monopoly. The rules are: whatever arrangements your family has made, pre-plan a time and place to do something you really enjoy. Would that be a massage, pedicure, coffee with friends, a walk up the mountains or along the beach? Or something else? Then devise an exit. Ask a friend to call you with an excuse. Pre-arrange a taxi to come and pick you up. When the phone call or taxi arrives, say: “Thank you so much for today! I just have to pop out now to help my friend. I'll be back to enjoy it even more a bit later!” Then smile, LEAVE and nurture you.
Are you about to enter a holiday season? How much stress do you normally experience when you spend time with your family or in-laws? Have you got relatives who give you a hard time? Maybe you married the favourite cousin and you're “not good enough”? Or do you have the plain mean ones who know you're an easy mark? If you dread family gatherings because you know someone is out to get you, trying to control you, or just not fun to hang out with, try these games and create a difference. Are your get togethers full of fighting? How many fights are really just individuals crying out for more attention? So give the ones giving you the hardest time, the attention they seek. With gentleness and allowance say “I'm so grateful that you are in my life. You are such a gift.” Then ask them questions and listen. No one will have paid them so much genuine attention in a long time. Being totally open, vulnerable and present with them will knock them over like a house of cards.
Have you ever been stuck not knowing what to do? You've got two or more great (or not so great) options and you just don't know which one to go with? Are you frozen by the idea that you might make the wrong choice? Have you made this choice the answer to your life? And if you get it wrong people will say “there he goes again, making no-good choices” and your life will be over? Is that true? What if there were no wrong choices? What if no choice was the answer to your life? What if a choice was quite simply that? A choice that is good for 10 seconds. And then you get to choose again. How does that feel? A bit lighter? Can you choose now? So go on, remind yourself a choice is just a choice and you can do it every 10 seconds. Are you willing to tell yourself to “choose dammit”?
What's your point of view about magic? That's it's voodoo and a lie? Or that it's a bit of a laugh for kids but wow, what if you really could do things like in Harry Potter and X-men? Do you ever have wonderful people or things show up in your life with ease and by surprise? Is that like magic? Does it make you smile? What if magic were simply things appearing from a source you couldn't see and didn't yet understand? Like if you now saw fire for the first time? If you'd like to invite more magic into your life and create things you thought impossible, ask “What magic can I ask for today?” And then ask.