Do you have any stiffness in your body? In your neck, shoulders, spine, knees, wrists or hands? Anywhere else? Have you put it down to the natural aging process, repetitive strain injury, sitting or standing too long in one position, or lack of certain vitamins and minerals? Do you expect that as you grow older your body will stiffen and eventually seize up? If these are your points of view, then you are not wrong. What if there was a different possibility? What about those spritely seniors who roller blade like teenagers, ride horses like cowboys, or dance like latin lovers? What makes them so different? Could it simply be their point of view? If you'd like to find out, ask “What fixed points of view am I unwilling to let go?” How many layers of fixed points of view have you locked into your body and made so real that your body has lost its flexibility? What physical changes could you create with your body, simply by being willing to be “interesting point of view”?
Do you consider change to be hard? You know you're not entirely (or at all) satisfied with your work, business, relationships, health, body or life in general, and you have an idea about what you'd prefer, and yet you can't seem to make it happen? Do you hear yourself saying “I'd like to do this, but I can't because...”? How many reasons and justifications do you have as to why your current situation, although not ideal, is easier to have than making waves and changing anything? What if change wasn't the hard part? If you'd like to find out what might open a door to greater possibilities, ask “Am I willing to acknowledge what I've chosen?” What if the hard part was acknowledging that everything you have created as your life until now had been your choice? There is no need to make it significant. Simply notice it and acknowledge that you are a magnificent creator. Now what do you choose to create? The same, or different?
Do you strive for completion? Do you value having goals and focus your energy on achieving those? How do you feel when either you reach, or don't reach your goal? Does procrastination worry you along the way? Is the process fun? If striving for completion does not give you the sense of fulfillment and satisfaction you were hoping for, and procrastination distracts you, ask “Having done this, what can I create from here?” What if nothing was ever a completion? What if you considered your work, business and your life in general an ongoing creation, of which you were fully present and created elegantly and joyfully? Elegance is the greatest result with the least effort. You create elegance when you are fully present and choose consciously and continuously. And procrastination? This often occurs when you consider something a necessity. What if it were all just choice?
Today is the official opening of my latest project - Polit Bar - so this is a GREAT question for
How often can you see everything in someone else's universe? You know exactly what they could do different, that if they chose it would create change beyond their imagination? How many times have you tried to tell, show, coax, persuade, debate, argue, or fight to share your awareness, trying to help them to see it, and then choose it? How often has that worked? Always, sometimes, or almost never? If you'd like an easier approach with more dynamic results, ask yourself “What question could I ask here that would lead to the awareness that will create the greatest change?” Then putting aside your hopes and dreams about the change you know is possible, ask the question that comes to mind. It might appear to have nothing to do with the “issue.” It might be as seemingly unrelated as “Are you looking to change something? If so, just ask and I'll do what I can to help.” Then smile and wait until they ask you. Are you willing to wait?
How's your sex life? Existent? Non-existent? Is it easy and fun? Is it full of strife? Or somewhere in-between on auto-pilot? How do you choose who you'll have sex with? Do you base it on body type? Personality traits? Future financial potentials? Or your inner monologue of “Thank you, thank you, thank you for having sex with me, no matter what you are”? Would you like to create something different? If so, next time you meet someone you or your body responds to with that panting energy, ask “Will it be easy? Will it be fun? And will I learn something?” You may not get a “yes” on all three and yet still choose to go ahead. No worries. If it's easy and fun, how does it get any better? If you only get that you'll learn something, you may want to ask more questions, like “How does it get any better than this?” and “What else is possible?” If you get none, you may want to smile and walk away.
Do you know what makes you happy? How many conclusions do you have about brings you happiness? One or two? Or a few hundred? What are they? For example, are you working toward something? An exam or job interview you'd like to pass? A girl or boy you'd like to date, marry or have kids with? A computer, TV, car or house you'd like to buy? A project, cause, or charity you're fighting for? Or some sort of mental, emotional or physical relief you're seeking? Do you consider that when you achieve that target you'll be happy? Not sure? If you'd like clarity, ask “Does this really create happiness for me?” Then notice how you feel. Light or heavy? What is true for you feels light. So if you sense heaviness, you may have bought the idea from someone else (your family?) their idea of happiness, which might not suit you. There's nothing wrong with seeking more in life and being joyful with the results. What if you could be joyful every day of the process too? What might your results look like then?
Do you like routine? Is that what you strive to achieve? Something comfortable, known, and secure? How often do you say “Once I get a system, everything will be better”? There's nothing wrong with comfortable, known and routine, when everything in your life is even better than you could imagine. When something is not working the way you'd like, will “comfortable, known or routine” create the changes you desire? Or will they set in concrete what's not working? If you're looking for dynamic change, ask “What could I be or do different today that would help create the life, living and reality I'd really like?” Then notice what comes to mind and be or do that. “Different” is not the same as “differently.” Differently is doing the same thing in different ways. Different is outside anything you have ever considered. What have you not yet imagined that, if you chose it, would contribute to your life? Don't know? Just ask.
Do you have a nagging ache, pain, sadness or other uncomfortable physical sensation? Have you tried all the usual things and yet it lingers? For example, asking “Who does this belong to?” and returning to sender when you become aware it's not yours. Or asking “Body, what are you telling me?” and following your body's lead. Then if the ache remains, ask “Who or what am I unwilling to lose?” Notice if you recall any event or person from your life now, or in the past. Have you locked into your body something that you decided you can't let go, even though it's hurtful or toxic? Are you keeping reruns of an event in body, saying “if only I'd done this, it would have turned out better?” Perhaps you're exhausting yourself with the dream that someone will change the way you know is possible, but instead you let them drive the knife in deeper? What if by being willing to let go of events and people you've locked into your body, you alleviated your aches, pains, sadness or other longings? And what if it created even more space for you to enjoy your life now?
Do you assume you have to eat when you feel hungry? Most people do. Do you feel compelled to preempt hunger pangs by filling up at regular intervals? How's your relationship with your body? Comfortable? Or not so much? Do you sense your body is telling you it's “not happy Bob?”If you'd like to create greater ease with your body, rather than filling it up with food on auto-pilot 3-6 times a day, wait until you notice you're hungry, then ask “Body, what are you hungry for?” Certainly, your body may require food. In which case, then ask “Body, what would you like to eat?” and notice what comes to mind, or what menu item your eye is drawn to first. Or it may be hungry for something else, like movement, warmth, attention, nurturing, sex or touch? What if hunger pains were your body enjoying and adjusting to the extra space, like a sigh of relief from the density of the food it didn't really desire?
What do you have to do today, that you'd really rather not? Clean the house? Do the food shopping? Visit an unpleasant relative? Wash the car? Attend the weekly staff meeting? Write an essay? Sit an exam? Perform in public? Go to the dentist? Give your family news you know they'll hate. What makes you go “ugh, I'd rather not” but you know you're going to do it anyway. If you'd like to create a more ease for yourself, ask “How can I enjoy the heck out of it?” Your point of view reality creates your reality. So if your point of view is “I don't enjoy this” then you are correct. You don't and won't. There is no possibility it could turn out to be fun after all. And if your point of view is “What would it take for this to turn out more fun than I could ever imagine?” you create an invitation for that to occur. To start, carry with you one thing that makes you laugh. A game. A joke. A book. An app. A photo. A dance in your step. After a while you might find you won't need it. Happiness is just a choice. What do you choose?