How comfortable are you in your skin? Do you feel that you are the complete, natural expression of who you really are? Or do you sometimes feel confused or uncomfortable, not quite yourself ? Whenever you feel a little (or a lot) not like yourself, ask “Who am I trying to be?” There is nothing wrong with acknowledging other people's greatness. But will unconsciously adopting other people's traits create that same greatness in you? Maybe. And you would adopt not-so-great traits for what reason? This question will help you see more clearly the behaviour, thoughts, loves, fights, sacrifices, hopes, dreams or other that are not naturally yours, that you are taking on as yours. Once you can see them, you can let them go if they don't serve you and rediscover yourself. How? Ask, “If I were me, who would I be?”
Do you feel that you're not enough? You don't ft in? You must strive to become something that your parents, teachers, friends, bosses, TV has told you you should be? Certainly you couldn't possibly be enough just as you are! You need to be something better, right? What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being you – just as you are – was exactly right? What if it were more than ok? What if the world actually needs the full range of your talents and abilities that you've been told your whole life were wrong? What would that be like? Do you know? If you'd like to fnd out, ask “If I were me, who would I be?” and “What's right about me I'm not getting?” What if you could be you and change the world?
Are you compelled to always try your hardest to win, be right, better than, or different to anyone else? Or at least not to appear to lose or to be wrong? How's that working for you? Is it fun? Or do you feel trapped in a race for which you don't seem equipped and are never enough? Are you frozen by the fear of failure? What if competition was not real? Are you the same as anyone else? No. So how can an apple and a nightingale compete? Only by both becoming something else that they're not. So if you feel limited, frustrated or frozen by the rules of a race that doesn't exist, ask “What's the value of buying into competition as real?” Then ask “What is the greatest contribution I can be to my life, family, business and communities?” That's the generative kind of competition, which is all about being more of you.
Do you sometimes feel like you're not being who you really are? That you're being all sorts of things for other people, and nothing for you? Do any of these roles sound familiar? Latest-at-the-offce employee, best-drinking boss, super mum, breadwinner dad, A-grades daughter, sports-champion son, host-with-the-most, community hero, best-friend-to-all, [fll in your own identities here___________________________]? Do they weigh you down? Do you feel lost under layers of masks to make other people happy, but don't quite feel like you? Would you like to rediscover who you really are? If so, ask “If I were me, who would I be?” What if being you was more than just fine? What if it was wonderful and exactly what your family, home, offce, communities and the world needed?
Remember when you were a small child and everyday was an adventure? Was your To Do list something like this: - wake up; - have fun; - go to bed (maybe, if I have to, or just fall asleep mid-play)? Does your life still have that energy? No? Is your To Do list now more like this: - drag myself out of bed; - do what I have to; - work and drink too much and fall into bed (if I'm lucky, or maybe nod off on the subway)? Would you like to reclaim the energy of your child? If so, rather than resigning yourself to being weighed down by work/business/life responsibilities, what if you embraced life as an exciting adventure? Wake up every morning and acknowledge you're in charge of creating your day by asking "Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures can I have?" If you begin each day like this, will you have the same old study, job, work, business, family, health or money problems? Maybe. Or maybe you'll see new, exciting possibilities that you have never see before. And what benefits could this bring to your work and business?
The Questionnaire is taking a break from 25 December to 2 January. If you have a question or situation you'd like clarity on, please just ask.
Do you spend a lot of your time feeling wrong? Do friends, family, and even passing strangers seem compelled to tell you that you haven't got it quite (or a lot) right, and if you just did it their way your life would be a whole lot better? Do you agree with, or fight against them? Is that fun and does it make you smile? If not and you'd prefer more joy, ask “Am I willing to step into my life?” What if you weren't trapped in the narrow band of other people's possibilities? What's the narrow band? Where you either agree and align and do what they tell you, or resist and react and do the opposite. When you expand beyond this band of polarity and create your life from what you know works for you, you have infinite possibilities. When people tell you you're wrong, smile and say “You're right. Thank you so much! You really have helped me to step into my life.” Then change the subject or walk away, “returning to sender” any lingering feeling of wrongness, and do what you you know works for you.
Are you down on yourself? Do you feel that you're not quite right some how? That you're less that you should be? That you're not what someone else expects you to be? Do you fit in with everyone around you? Or not? And have you decided that you're wrong for not fitting in? If you'd like to find out, rather than judging yourself as wrong, ask “What's right about me that I'm not getting?” What if you were not nearly as messed up as you thought you were? What if you were just different? And what if by acknowledging this, you became the difference the world needs?**
This is one of My Favourite Qs, which I will re-publish, with varied scenarios, once every 6-12 months. What if even just remembering this ONE Q helped you create the life you'd truly like?
Who or what don't you like? Evil corporations? Hippies? Government? Missionaries? Environmental activists? Telephone salespeople? Big Pharma? Raw foodies? Big Agribusiness? Vegans? Who or what else? Which group of people do you find yourself poking fun at, criticizing, or in a fight about at least once a day? When you talk about these people or groups, does your blood pressure rise and heart beat faster? Do you frown and your voice tone rise? How do you feel? Great? Or not so good? What is it about these people and/or groups that makes you talk about them constantly? What in YOU do they spark or explode into a fire of reaction? And when you fight, how free are you to act to create the life you'd like? Or does the fight control you and keep you frozen in reaction against it? If you don't feel so good and would like to free yourself from the fight, ask “Who or what am I fighting?” and "What else is possible?" Is it YOU? What if you didn't need to fight you?
Have you ever been overwhelmingly excited about something or someone? How did your body respond? Did your heart and mind race? Did you lie awake all night dreaming of all the future possibilities? Despite your lack of sleep, did you function on an adrenaline overload? Did your body enjoy it? What exactly did it contribute to the object of excitement? Did it expand you and your project with ease and elegance, joy and reward? Was it the invitation to others you expected? And did it help you get anything done? Or did your excitement distract you, keep you frozen in hopes and dreams? Did you find people did not seem to catch the fire of your excitement the way you expected? If excitement has not worked the way you thought it would, ask “What contribution is this excitement?” If you notice it's not what you thought it was, ask “Who does this belong to?” and What else is possible?” What if simply being you were the greatest contribution, beyond anything you can imagine?
What is your point of view about money, for example? That there isn't enough to go around? That it doesn't grow on trees? That you have to work long and hard to get enough? Whatever your points of view about money, is that more or less what is showing up for you? So your points of view are not wrong? And if something is working for you, there is no need to change your point of view about it. What about when something is NOT working for you? For example, if you'd really prefer more money in your life? In that case, play with this. Ask “What if I changed my point of view?” Then, every time you start to say something about money, STOP and say “Interesting I have that point of view. I wonder what else is possible, greater than I can imagine?” What else would you like to change? The people in your life, your health, you daily activities like work? What else could you change your point of view about that could create a whole new reality you can't yet imagine? Start to play?