Do you have lots of great ideas for business and life in general? Do you get enthusiastic and pour loads of energy into them, but then nothing seems to happen? Then to top it off, someone ELSE comes out with the same idea a bit later and it's a hit! Does that get you down? What if you were just too quick for the rest of the world? What if you were having ideas that are perfect for 1, 5 or even 10 years in the future? So when you have a great idea, ask “Now or in the future?” Then tap into which feels light for you: now or in the future (if it's light, it's right for you, remember). If it's in the future, write your idea down in a special ideas notebook and re-visit it from time to time. Got a godzillion ideas? This is a great way to nurture and contribute energy to them when the time is right.
Do you sometimes do things that, well, just don't work out? In fact, you create complete rubbish? When you do this, do you default to how bad, wrong, terrible and awful you are? And how does that feel? Does it help you at all? Probably not. So what if instead, you acknowledged that you can be an AWESOME creator of rubbish. Say “Gee, I'm cute, but not bright!” Then laugh and ask "What's right about this I'm not getting?" and "What else is possible?" If you can create magnificent rubbish, you can undoubtedly create magnificent magnificence too. You just have to ask. What's the value of making yourself wrong? It's much more fun to be cute.
If everything is just an interesting point of view – including other people's opinions – how do you know who and what will be the greatest contribution to your life and living? First, ask a question, any question (choose from this book) then pay attention to what shows up and how you feel. Do you feel heavy? Do you feel light? If you feel light, it's right FOR YOU. If you feel heavy it's a lie FOR YOU. You know that clunky feeling you get when you just know something's not quite right? Listen to your senses and follow the lightness, even though it may not make logical sense at the time. How often have you said “I just KNEW it felt a bit off, even though I couldn't figure out why”? And remember, just because something is light for you, it may not be light for the person standing next to you. Who's life are you living anyway? Yours or theirs?
How often do you limit your choices – before you even consider them – by concluding that other people won't approve? “My husband/wife wouldn't agree”, “My parents wouldn't like it” or even “No one else does that, so what would everyone think?” Worrying about what other people think is one of the main reasons you will give for not doing something. What if you took other people out of the equation so you could see what you'd really like to choose? Ask “If other people's points of view weren't real – if everything were just an interesting point of view – what would I choose?” Most of the world's innovation, ideas, music, art and even new lands (you know, the world is no longer flat), came from people doing what they loved and knowing what was right for THEM, regardless of what other people thought was real, true, or possible. What could be possible for you if you listened to you?
What if there was nothing wrong with you? What if being you - just as you are - was exactly right? What would that be like for you? Do you know? To find out ask "If I were me, who would I be?" and "What's right about me I'm not getting?" What if you could be you and change the world? Would you smile more?
Do you feel you life is too full, too busy? Are you overwhelmed with all the things you have to do? And does it bore you? Do you assume that to make life easier you need to eliminate something? And how often do you start by cutting out the things you enjoy to create time and money for someone else? Rather than assume you need to do more with less, that you can't afford something, that no one will help you, and you certainly shouldn't enjoy yourself when 'things need to be done', start by asking “What else could I add to my life?” For example, you might need to add a partner, assistant, cleaner, driver, advisor, or ask your spouse, children, parents, friends, employees, boss to do more (or something!). You might need to start a new business or hobby to make you smile again. What if you received a whole lot more than you ever imagined, with ease, just by asking?
Do you ever think yourself into a knotty ball of confusion? Listing all the pros and cons, collecting reams of background info which you analyse to death from all angles, trying to figure out what to do? To get it Right. Whether it's which subject to study, job to choose, car to buy, or if this person is The One? Do you enjoy this process? Is it as fast and easy as you'd like? And how does it usually work out? If you don't enjoy it and would prefer a faster, easier – and dare I say it more reliable FOR YOU – approach, next time you find yourself embarking on a thought journey into the abyss ask “If I didn't think about this, what would I know?” You know those moments when you just know something? It feels right and light to you (even though others think you're crazy)? Only you can really know what is right for you. So what if you trusted you more? It could make life a whole lot easier.
Are you often ill or exhausted? Do you have aches and pains that baffle the doctors? Before you start on a carousel of drug-taking to see if you can alleviate the symptoms, ask “What am I sick and tired of?” Maybe it's the drudgery of housework? The tedium of the office? Having people always ask you to do things for them? Whatever that is for you, whenever you think of that something and it makes you groan and slump, ask “What else is possible?” and “How can I change this?” Perhaps you could hire a housekeeper? Change jobs? Say NO? If you have trouble saying no, practice this, with a smile, in the mirror every morning 'I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me right now'. What if spending money on a housekeeper, changing jobs, or upsetting someone by politely saying no, saved you money in trips to the doctors, and even your life?
Suffering? In pain? Frustrated? Someone doing you wrong? Rather than going into the no good, wrong, trauma and drama default, ask “What's funny about this that I'm not getting?” For example, when I was supposed to be doing pull ups (with an elastic support band, mind you) at bootcamp the other day, but instead was just hanging there about as useful as a rubber chicken. Was I in pain and pathetic? Oh yes. What it hilarious? Heck yeah (um, rubber chicken). What about a relationship that's on a wash cycle of wring-your-heart-dry? What's funny about that? Gotta be something. Even if it's to laugh at yourself for pushing the same old wring-me-out-now button and expecting a different result. Cute, but not bright. What's great about laughing? It boosts your oxygen and feel good body bits and kicks you out of the self-pity spiral. Are you willing to see more of life's funny side?
Is something in your life stuck and you can't seem to shift it? For you to be unable to change something, you have to have decided or concluded something about it. For example, what have you decided in your life is perfect or the answer? A relationship? A job? A business? When you can see your decisions – and are willing to let them go – all change becomes possible. So when you're stuck, ask “What decisions, conclusions and answers have I made about this?” This does not mean you have to end the relationship or job or whatever. If you choose, you can transform it into something else. Perhaps even something better than you could have ever imagined. How? Just ask another question.